Vape Vine or flavours for favours.

I recently received a phone call from an old friend, who after a brief chat, tentatively explained that his mother was quite unwell and cautiously enquired if I could lend a hand?

“Of course” I said through gritted teeth, wondering what the hell I was letting myself in for, imagining emptying bed pans or worse still… catsitting.

“Thank you so much Don, I‘m working as a porter in central London, could you possibly cover for me over the next few days?”

“Why I’d be delighted” I lied, yet I was relieved that no felines were involved and so we agreed to meet the very next day in order for him to show me the ropes.

Arriving early, I was immediately confronted by a favourite of the paparazzi, who proceeded to grill me until his paranoia was appeased.

My friend left after concisely explaining my duties and I spent a hectic if agreeable week helping consular officials and their various visitors.

As my last day drew to an end, the ambassador stopped by and sent me to the kitchen for a light supper, in thanks for all my efforts.

I sat down and tucked into soup, sandwiches and a beer before I was once again confronted by the embassy’s permanent guest.

Scarfing down the last sandwich, I pulled out my cana and was about to refill my magma before my walk home, when my intrusive interrogator asked me if I had any spare kanthal?

“Of course” I said, surprised that this thorn in everyone’s side was a vaper. “Great if you’ll share your wire, I’ll share some new e liquids I received earlier today” said he.

I wrapped a coil, slotted it into his derringer and we retired to the tiny garden where my new best friend produced 4 bottles of Vapevine.

Made great in Britain is their tag line, I must admit I had long been intrigued by Vapevine’s focus on a number of quintessentially British flavours, so without another word we began to vape.

First one up was called Drunken crumble it was a Rhubarb crumble that only really got going above 19.5 watts for me. I suddenly found myself holding a debate with the planets most notorious inquisitor.

“Is that cinnamon?”

“More custard in my opinion.”

“Yes indeed, you are right and a hint of buttery crumble at the end.”

“Wait… wait that’ s definitely rosemary!”

“Are you sure? It tastes of brandy to me?”

“Could there even be some citrus in the back?”

Before he contacted a Vapevine whistleblower and launched an e liquid document dump, I asked to try the next flavour.

It was called the 99, like the vanilla ice cream in a cone with chocolate flake covered in strawberry & raspberry syrups, all finished off with a cooling exhale. It was very good, but personally I would have preferred just a smidgeon less of the koolada at the end.

Perhaps it was the heavenly smell of ice cream or maybe it had been the delicious drunken crumble dessert that drew them closer? But I became very aware of several policemen observing us all too closely from several nearby rooftops.

I considered mentioning our uninvited audience to my paranoid juice provider but it had been a long day and besides I really wanted to try the next e liquid.

Cracking open the bottle of Emerald city, I tasted mild aniseed, liquorice, mixed fruit and a gentle cinnamon tickle at the end. Very nice… but I could not help observe the bobbies moving closer and sniffing rather loudly. Luckily my host was enveloped in vapour, swearing he could taste fruits of the forest somewhere in that Emerald city mix.

While he was distracted, I ripped open the last bottle called SW19 and filled both our drippers while his back was to the garden and the watchers on the roofs.

Vaping loudly, blowing billowing plumes, snorting and snuffing he began to identify the flavours…”it’s got strawberries and cream, with Pimms and… and…. lemon barley?”

He was right, it was like Wimbledon in a bottle but there was something more, something more herbal, almost grassy… but before I could properly identify it, one of the watchers
slid slowly down the roof and landed with a sickening thump in the small rose garden less than 10 ft away.

My companion turned and stared, his jaw hit the lawn, his face went white and with a shriek like a battered banshee… scuttered quickly back inside the embassy.

I calmly blew a few extra large clouds and under the cover of the perfumed plumes, helped the poor plod overcome the after effects of gravity and carefully boosted him back over the wall, narrowly averting an international incident.

My brave companion had locked himself in the wine cellar and so I decided to discreetly vanish before he accosted me again.

As I was exiting through the main door the cultural attache appeared and softly murmured “Thank you for your quick thinking and your discretion, it is the third time this month our guest has locked himself in the wine cellar.” Rolling his eyes in an eloquently silent commentary at these antics, he continued “Should you ever need a favour, please do not hesitate to call.” He pressed his card into my hand, smiled, shook my hand and disappeared without another word.

This was my first ever experience with Vapevine… but it will not be my last, I will however, be carefully avoiding favours for friends that involve embassies and asylum seekers for the foreseeable future.

All juices 50PG50VG vaped with a rayon wicked 1.3 ohm coil in a magma on a cana, firing at 15 up to 25 watts, in the garden of an embassy with a paranoid recluse.

Avoid the hacking, document dumps and clandestine observers by visiting Vapevine using your browser http://www.vapevine.co.uk/
Do not forget to use the reddit10 discount code for 10% off! : )
If you prefer your juices VG heavy, please do check out the pocket fog line at 30PG/ 70VG
Rating: Classified.

La cour parfumme pour tout le monde.

Set a different mood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukOs3am7CtE

Choderlos de Laclos , Honore de Balzac, or Antoine de St Exupery, could do justice to these e juices, my prose could never.

Again there will be no story, for these are elixirs worthy of Le Florentin himself and I am not ashamed to say, that I just ordered another full set of these e liquids.

Night Flight:
They say: Coffee, Cream, Whisky, Almond biscuits

I say: Better than an Irish coffee for breakfast on March the 18th served by Eriu. Or Tiramisu made by god herself.

Perfect day:
They say: A Macaroon with Rose, Lychee, Coconut and Raspberry

I say: Haute confiserie, La vie en rose https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0feNVUwQA8U .

Pure Morning:
They say: A powerful Mint with Apple and Kiwi

I say: As refreshing as an oasis in the Sahara desert after two days without water. Mouthwatering!

Crescent Moon:
They say: Pear, Gingerbread and Caramel

I say: Please Madame, may I have some more?

Blue moon:
They say: Anise, Pineapple and Citrus

I say: I now understand what inspired Gauguin’s paintings. Pure uncut anise gently mixed with tangy pineapple and perhaps clementine?

These e liquids are from what is called Vaponaute’s all day series, only slightly less complex than their original four juices yet exquisitely crafted. I understand that some may consider these to be expensive and too gourmand. However like your first kiss, they are unforgettable.

Vaponaute have astounded me with the sheer quality and attention to detail in every single one of their e liquids. Every room note is superb, each juice enjoys both layered and melanged flavours, laddering with watts and muting or pronouncing depending on what you are imbibing at the time.

I hate coffee yet I was seduced by Night Flight, Perfect day’s rose notes were an equally abhorrent idea yet the juice entranced me. You will relish even a fleeting experience of these juices; there is something for even the most jaded of tongue’s here.

I urge you in the strongest possible terms to beg, borrow or steal these Vaponaute e liquids and treat yourself to a veritable French revolution in vaping.

Once again… a triumph of art, science and passion

These new e liquids will be available soon at http://www.vaponaute.com

Rating: Versailles: http://en.chateauversailles.fr/homepage

Also available on http://www.theohmpage.com

L’amour toujours.

Set the mood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouEmiXtIxHc

Cyrano de Bergerac, Voltaire or Apollinaire could do justice to these e juices, my prose could never.

Today there will be no story, for these are elixirs worthy of Avicenna himself and I am not ashamed to say, that they brought a tear to my eye.

Into the wild:
They say: Virginia Tobacco, sugared Almonds, Toffee, Nuts and Maraschino Cherry.

I say: Forget RY4 this is an RY 4×4 driven by starving squirrels, ram raiding a confiserie.

On the storm:
They say: Comice Pear, Cognac, Light Tobacco, Cocoa, Star anise, Honey and Cinnamon.

I say: Like a poire belle helene lovingly prepared by a 7 star Michelin chef. Adieu Escoffier!

Over the rainbow:
They say: Cantaloupe, Ginger, Lime, Citrus, Verbena and Green figs.

I say: Melonfarming fantastic. You will never look at melons the same way again.

Under the sea:
They say: 4 different Mints, Watermelon, Gin, Cucumber, Lavender and Coriander.

I say: Colder than a kiss from an ex lover and equally bewildering. Gandalf’s gin and tonic!

All juices vaped in a Lemo at 1.1 ohms, wicked with rayon, firing on a Cana at 17.5 watts.

Despite a proposal of marriage and attempts at bribery I cannot ascertain the PG/VG ratios for each juice or just how many other interesting flavours are hiding in these most exquisite of e liquids.

Beg, borrow or steal Vaponaute, quite simply they are a must for anybody with even a passing interest in vaping.

A triumph of art, science and passion.
http://www.vaponaute.com/en/10-e-journeys

Rating: The Louvre. http://www.louvre.fr/en

To be continued next week with a review of their new flavours…

Also available on http://www.theohmpage.com

Liquid Voyage or Bliss by the Baltic?

I watched, enthralled, as the drop of sweat rolled off Knut’s nose and splashed on the table, he grimaced and slid an imitation Patek Phillipe off his wrist and into the pot… trying to up the ante.

Before I could object, Birgitta laughingly refused it, without a word Knut then reached into his pocket and placed a plastic re sealable bag onto the table, with 4 unopened bottles of the legendary Liquid Voyage inside.

We looked around the table and nodded in silent agreement he could call, sure, but not up the ante.

I concealed my mounting nervousness; my father’s watch was already on the table, alongside a large tin of Surstromming: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surstr%C3%B6mming ,two sides of the finest Gravlax : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gravlax ,a pound of dried Chanterelles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4YDjmet1bw and a bottle of OP Andersons finest Akvavit on top of about 5000 Kronor in cold, hard cash: http://www.totallyswedish.com/en/webshop/drinks/cold-drinks/op-anderson-aquavit

Tearing my eyes away from this treasure trove of decadent Swedish delicacies, I eyed my hand, thinking that my royal flush was either heaven or hell… only time would tell whether it was the former or the latter.

The moment of truth arrived as one by one, we refused to sweeten the pot any further, Birgitta dropped three 10´s, followed by a running flush from the sweaty Knut. All eyes turned to me as I slapped each card down on the scarred wood and watched their jaws drop to the floor, I rarely play poker these days… but the chance to explore underneath the Saluhall, followed by a game of cards with two of Sweden’s finest had been too great an opportunity to miss.

The gourmand’s Valhalla: http://www.ostermalmshallen.se/en/

I slowly gathered up the cash, my father´s old watch, the delicious “Smorgasbord” and that most interesting bag of liquids, it was 5 am and time for a discreet exit with my winnings, before tempers flared. I grabbed my coat, took the Swedes arm and strolled off towards my hotel. It was a bitterly cold January morning and by the time we got back, we had decided on a hot shower and some inter cultural exploration before going downstairs for a well earned breakfast.

While the Swede showered, curiosity got the better of me and I stupidly opened the bulging can of Surstromming.
I couldn’t resist trying it, but if you have ever sampled this fishy delicacy, you will know all about its interesting aroma. Trying desperately not to gag, I held my nose with one hand and shovelled a bit of fish into my mouth. It was definitely an acquired taste and I simply had not the time, so I ran across the room and opened the tiny window in the vain hope of vanquishing the unearthly odour.

FYI: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xHfh194ypU

I began to panic, the Swede was still in the shower, but would be out soon and I had plans, big plans for the Swede and it was unlikely that this funky Surstromming was considered an aphrodisiac… even in Stockholm.

There was only one solution.

Jumping over the bed in one giant leap (nervous anticipation or hormonal anxiety… You decide!), I broke open the bag of e liquids and started filling my trusty magma with the first bottle of this highly regarded Liquid Voyage, one Lemon Pie.

Well, it was exactly what it said on the label, a lush, sweet lemon vape with a buttery base, whether it was biscuit or simply pastry I could not tell, but it was good, damn good, verging on historic. I am still unsure if there is a hint of marshmallow or even meringue on top but I intend to finish every last drop to find out. If you ever get the chance try this juice, put it on your bucket list, NOW!

It’s like some borking madman crammed a baker’s dozen of lemon pies in your dripper… only better.

Borking madman V forking madman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Grp5-bvMo7U

Yet the smell of the Surstromming lingered in my room, like a phantom fart in a phone box.

I quickly re wicked the magma and broke open the next bottle, a Strawpeardew mix, normally melon would not be high on my list of vaping priorities but a hard earned bottle in the hand is worth 20 in a B&M so I filled up the magma and went again. It was more of a layered juice than a melange, a well ripened pear followed by strawberry notes with a long juicy melon finish. It tasted like every budding fruit ninja’s fantasy.

Top notch juice and the smell was superb, it even managed to diminish the funk of fermented fish, but only a little. I put it away carefully, this fragrant fruit cocktail would be even better on those long hot days of summer.

The shower stopped as I frantically re wicked once again, rinsing out the magma with a vodka miniature and refilling her with some RY4. This RY4 had more caramel than a mile of burning sugar cane in a toffee swamp. Followed by ginger, but a subtle note, none of your barbed wire across the back of your throat here, perhaps even softened by a sneaky vanilla? It also has a much drier finish than all of the other recent offerings I have sampled. I put it away safely in my bag, this would be great with a brown ale.

Perfect, but was it enough to banish one of Sweden’s gourmet air un fresheners?

I took an experimental sniff and groaned, almost but not quite.

Damnit!

I heard the hair dryer start and without a moment to lose I changed the rayon and washed out the dripper, next up was Pink Custard, I am ashamed to admit I may have stained the duvet in my haste to moisten the wick and fill the well. This one was very interesting, a good double or triple vanilla custard with sweet Strawberry and something else, but what? Well, to me it tastes of a hint of melon/ kiwi or even the elusive custard apple? I cannot be sure what gives it that dry sweetness? But the room note was simply phenomenal, a wondrous aroma. I dream of aging it for science.

That mysterious pink e liquid saved my bacon, so to speak, as it managed to overcome that lingering hum of hardcore herring and the room finally smelt of fruity custard with highlights of vanilla.

The door to the bathroom opened and a finger beckoned, I set down my Cana on the shelf beside the bed, I had finished trialling those wonderful Swedish juices with seconds to spare, now, it was time to sample other Scandinavian delights…

Liquid Voyage – 4, Surstromming – 0

For more information on Sweden´s premium juice and perhaps the world’s most effective Surstromming antidotes made by Liquid Voyage please do click below:

http://liquidvoyage.eu/index.php?

A 10 ml bottle costs 55 Kr or 5.88 in real money or 10% less, using the code: ecreu : )

http://liquidvoyage.eu/index.php?id_category=12&controller=category

There are rumours of more flavours coming soon from this great little company and I for one, cannot wait to taste them all… this time without the herring : )

All liquids (60VG/40PG) were vaped using a rayon wicked Magma, on a Cana, firing 15 watts, with a 2.3 ohm coil.

You can now find my other reviews on http://www.theohmpage.com as well as http://www.thegourmandsguidetogourmet.wordpress.com